If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
