found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
