i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
