now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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