Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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