Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
