Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
