when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
