You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i will never coherently bang her
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
