he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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