I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
