Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
