3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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