i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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