He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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