We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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