Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
