So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the day after is always just damage control
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
