i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
