I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
