ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
