She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
