just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
only if we run a train.
done.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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