i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
