Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
