But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize