Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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