I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
