You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
