giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
