I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
