even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
