Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
