Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
