but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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