Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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