Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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