Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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