I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
