I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
