We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
