Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
