the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
