i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
