I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
