Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize