Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
