we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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