I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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