I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
