I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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