is your mom at the bar?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
