this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
