I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is Oprah even human
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
