Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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