the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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