I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
