Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
how does that bad decision feel?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
