There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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