reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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